I used to judge our morning route by how many blocks we covered before returning to the leash hook by the door. I wanted a specific number of steps to feel like a good dog mom. If Walter and Mabel did not look tired by the time we reached the kitchen, I thought I had failed.
My mornings begin with the familiar clatter of the ceramic dog-bone jar by the coffee maker. I used to watch Mabel and Walter with a focus on speed, wanting them to eat with the same energy I expected from a healthy dog. Now, I watch the way they stand.
I remember when I thought a successful walk was measured by the miles we covered or how much time we spent outside. I would grab the leash from the hook by the back door and try to force a pace that felt productive.
I used to measure our success by the miles we covered, judging the quality of a walk by how tired the dogs looked when we reached the mudroom. I thought a long, steady pace meant a better day. Now I see that as a mistake. My current standard is much smaller.
For a long time, I evaluated the quality of a walk by the distance we covered or the number of new paths we cleared. I kept a tally of our pace in the small notebook that sits by the ceramic dog-bone jar by the coffee maker.
I used to judge our progress by the number of street signs Mabel and Walter passed. If we reached the far corner of the park, I felt a sense of accomplishment. My hand would reach for the leash hook by the door with a specific, rigid ambition.